I put off reading self-help books for a long time because I couldnāt comprehend how something as simple as reading a book could change my mind, habits, and overall lifestyle. But girl, was I wrong.
As I started reading, I quickly realized that indeed, self-help books wonāt automatically make your life better. Instead, they give you the tools youāll need and itās up to you to implement them.Ā
The following books reminded me of the power of ideas to change minds and therefore lives. One changed my relationship with social media; one changed my mindset; and one changed how I view others and myself.
These 3 self-help books are my favorites because they helped me in profound ways, and I hope theyāll be able to help you too.
1.Ā Digital Minimalism, by Cal Newport
This book single-handedly made me permanently quit Twitter and Instagram, and drastically reduced my time spent on Facebook and Youtube. So, if you also want to cut down your social media usage and rethink social media as a whole, then I highly recommend you read this book.
Newport offers a lot of practical advice, backed by solid reasoning and evidence, on how you can enact the philosophy of digital minimalism. It isnāt about deleting all your social media apps, but minimizing them to only serve your priorities. Newport gathers evidence from economics, socio-cultural analysis, and psychology, which make his arguments very compelling. He also discusses the importance of solitude and having hobbies to combat the attention economy created by these multi-billion dollar media companies, which I found to be valuable.
Iām very grateful to this book because it gave me the tools to become a less passive user of these apps; I suddenly had a lot of time to pursue my passions when I thought I had little. If this sounds like it aligns with what you want to accomplish, then Digital Minimalism may just be able to help you.
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2. Happy, by Derren Brown
Happy wonāt change your circumstances nor automatically make you happy, but it does give you a wealth of practical advice on how to change your attitude towards happiness. Indeed, this book gave me the tools to be more content and happy with what I have, and more calm when disagreements or problems arise.
Thereās a clichĆ© within self-help literature that āyou can do anything as long as you believe in yourself,ā which Brown immediately displays as nonsense. I agree because there really are an infinite number of factors that limit our actions. With this, Brown discusses how happiness is perceived in religion, history, philosophy, economics, celebrity culture, and materialism to give us the varying debates surrounding the topic of happiness. His arguments are compelling because theyāre nuanced and sensitive to peopleās various circumstances.
Some of the biggest take-aways from the book are: (1) you take yourself with you everywhere you go, so external circumstances will not make you happy unless youāre happy with yourself; (2) trying to control things that are out of your control is a recipe for anger, dissatisfaction, and ultimately sadness; and (3) it’s not the events themselves that cause your emotions to stir, but your judgments of them. Of course, these are only oversimplifications of his advice; in the book, Brown thoroughly picks out the nuances of each of these arguments. So, ifĀ these ideas intrigue you, then give the book a read!
3. Maybe You Should Talk to Someone, by Lori Gottlieb
In this part-memoir part-self-help book, psychotherapist Gottlieb narrates her own experiences with therapy as well as some of her own patientsā stories. In doing so, she provides us with the psychological tools we need to understand ourselves and empathize with others.
Emotions are very elusive and vague; no one ever teaches us about how to handle our emotions and we often downplay its role in our decision-making. This is why Maybe You Should Talk to Someone is so helpful. Through anecdotes and psychological analysis, Gottlieb demonstrates to us how best to deal with, interpret, and become sensitive to both our emotions and othersā as well. By confronting our emotions head-on, we can navigate through difficult situations in more productive ways.
One of my favorite lines from the book is: āEach [therapy] patient is simply a snapshot, a person captured in a particular moment.ā The same is true with everyone we meet. The book rests on the central principle that each individual is complex, therefore we must not judge others too quickly. And by being patient with and understanding people better, you can be more at peace as well.
Reading this book feels like youāre in therapy yourself because of the wealth of compassion, honesty, and practical advice Gottlieb gives you. Of course, this is not to say that reading this book can replace therapy; it canāt. But it does give you somewhat of a starting point on how to do things better.
Thank you so much, and happy reading!
I love this! I will check out these books š
Thank you!! š