I’m about to take the fun out of these parties.
I didn’t realize that 18th birthday debuts were just a Filipino thing until I went to Canada, where none of my friends have ever heard of it. I was so fascinated. Debuts were a huge deal when I was growing up.
I’ve been to a couple of debuts but didn’t have one myself due to a personal preference. These events are often lavish, prepared months or even years in advance, and no doubt a real hoot. Debuts can be a contentious topic; some say it’s a waste of time and money while others say they just want to feel like a princess for one night. But to all these, I ask: why don’t men have it to that extent too? Granted, there are 21st debuts for men, but these are so rare and much less glamorous. Why? What’s with women and coming of age?
I got to the bottom of this. I discovered that while this tradition has a deep patriarchal history and tends to pigeonhole women into one type of feminine ideal, it also serves political, social, and emotional functions to those who celebrate it in the present day.
Debuts are a tradition and a norm, and as always, I like questioning traditions and norms, exploring what they really mean, and figuring out how we can break out of them if we want to.
WHAT'S A DEBUT?
In its most simplest definition, debuts are birthday celebrations–but on steroids. Some debuts are even as grand as weddings.
Using anthropological language, a debut is a ritual to celebrate a woman’s 18th birthday and her crossover to adulthood. I use the term “ritual” because debuts follow an established set of customs. The debutante has to wear a long gown or a ball gown; her entourage dance a cotillion number; the 18 most important men in her life–dubbed the “18 roses”–dance with her; the 18 most important women in her life–dubbed the “18 candles”–give their well wishes through speeches; and the 18 most important aunties and uncles–dubbed the “18 treasures”–give gifts to her. These all symbolize some aspect of her transition to womanhood. The 18 treasures, for example, symbolize the things the debutante will need to succeed as an adult.
Debuts require so much labor to pull off. There are dance rehearsals, multiple dress fittings, hair and make-up trials, guest lists, consultation with logistics, photographers, videographers, and caterers, etc. I really can’t imagine how a girl deals with this on top of her schoolwork and hobbies.
Because of the money and time needed to pull these off, debuts tend to be celebrated by middle to upper-class people. There are different iterations of this same idea in the quinceañera and the sweet sixteen. It’s always the women who celebrate coming of age in front of large groups of people and in a glamorous style. Why?
JOIN THE WEEKLY NEWSLETTER!
Get updates on the latest posts and more from Alyanna Denise straight to your inbox. Guaranteed no spams.
By subscribing, you consent to receiving emails.
THE DEBUT: THEN AND NOW
Debuts weren’t always this way. Traditional Filipino debuts present not 1, but up to 24 debutantes in the year of their eighteenth birthdays. And presenting them like princesses wasn’t really a birthday treat, but more of an opportunity for young Filipinas to find husbands (Escalona, 2018; Gono, 2019; Kirkpatrick, 2014). Women’s coming of age was equated with their readiness to become wives. This reminds me so much of English debutante balls, which also present women to society when they come of age and are looking for husbands.
These coming-of-age events were such a huge deal for young women because women almost everywhere were entirely dependent on marriage to achieve any social, political, or economic status. They weren’t lazy nor were they just a bunch of gold diggers, but society back then only reserved work for men, and the home for women. When we take this history into account, it makes sense for men not to have elaborate rituals celebrating their coming of age. Historically, they didn’t need to marry in order to advance in society.
Rodriguez (2012) posited that debutantes’ images are also modeled after Maria Clara from Noli Me Tangere–the so-called ultimate Filipina ideal. We still see that today. Debutantes perform a specific kind of femininity, one that is virtuous, delicate, and chaste. There’s also a strict adherence to gender roles (e.g., debutantes must only dance with men). Now, there’s nothing wrong with doing all these, but women must also not be shamed when they deviate from these norms. Womanhood takes infinitely many forms, and pigeonholing women into this one type of feminine ideal is coercive and dishonest.
POLITICAL, SOCIAL, AND EMOTIONAL FUNCTIONS
Certainly, debuts right now are divorced from their original purpose–but they still do serve a purpose.
Debuts are political. They provide an opportunity for families to deploy power within their own families, communities, and wider society (Espiritu, 2014). In other words, families use debuts to assert and magnify their status by showing their power and influence to a large group of carefully selected people (Rodriguez, 2012). Their show of wealth is also a show of power.
Power and influence may be deployed by how grand a venue the family can afford, how many people attend, and how many “important” people attend, among others. Of course, there’s a personal aspect to debuts, but we can’t ignore the politics either. They co-exist.
Debuts also serve as a key opportunity for families to build and maintain their social networks. By inviting certain people to their daughter’s big milestone, families strengthen their relationship with select social connections. This social function is even more crucial within immigrant communities. Here, debuts are a key method for Filipinos to connect with other Filipinos, as well as for Filipinos to assert their cultural pride and integrity in a foreign land (Rodriguez, 2012).
Lastly, debuts serve an emotional function for the celebrants themselves. Rodriguez (2012) found that debutantes tend to more easily increase their self-esteem in times of doubt and insecurity due to the positive emotional memories they gained from their debuts. This is consistent with sociologist Randall Collins’ concept of “high emotional energy” (2004). This energy is a long-term positive feeling caused by successful rituals; it provides people with resilience and confidence as they face challenges throughout their lifetimes.
CONCLUDING THOUGHTS
So, what does it mean when young Filipinas still celebrate debuts despite their outdated purpose? That’s really up for you to decide. Debuts are just one example of how history and politics shape culture, as well as how people use culture to their own political, social, and emotional ends.
I observe that there’s just strong societal pressure (at least, pre-pandemic) to have debuts–or some form of it–especially for wealthier families. That you’ll be missing out on something big, potentially life-changing, if you don’t celebrate your debut. With the proliferation of social media, that pressure’s only gotten stronger. And what I hope you take away from this is that it’s all just a social construct, a mere product of history. You can freely have a debut, you can do your debut differently, men can have debuts, and you can also renounce the tradition altogether. Everything’s fine to do. Just like all the other social constructs, it’s really just up to you.
WORKS CITED
Collins, R. (2004). Interaction ritual chains. Princeton University Press.
Escalona, K. (2018, January 11). Real Life Fairytale: A Girl’s 18th Birthday in the Philippines. The Culture Trip. https://theculturetrip.com/asia/philippines/articles/real-life-fairytale-a-girls-18th-birthday-in-the-philippines/.
Espiritu, Y. L. (2014, May). Review of Celebrating Debutantes and Quinceañeras: Coming of Age in American Ethnic Communities by Rodriguez. American Journal of Sociology, 119(6), 1763–1765.
Gono, A. (2019, September 21). The Traditional and Modern Debut in the Philippine. Holidappy. https://holidappy.com/party-planning/The-Traditional-and-Modern-Debut-in-the-Philippines.
Kirkpatrick, M. (2014, November 21). THE FILIPINO DEBUT. Bamboo Telegraph. https://bambootelegraph.com/2014/11/21/the-filipino-debut/.
Rodriguez, E. I. (2013). Celebrating debutantes and quinceañeras: coming of age in American ethnic communities. Temple University Press.
