Why do people fail to communicate? Well, Sally Rooney’s Normal People has some interesting answers to this question, which I’ll be exploring today in this book analysis.
This was so much fun to do, because I’ve been wondering why I like this book so much. And I think I’ve finally cracked the code. But I should warn you that this book analysis has some spoilers about the midpoint of the novel.
ON MISCOMMUNICATION
Miscommunication is a staple in the romance genre. But what sets Normal People apart is its ability to slice deep into the characters’ psyches to illustrate how misunderstandings are informed by so many factors, many of them etched into the very basis of who we are.
The following paragraph, I think, captures Normal People’s take on miscommunication very well. This is told from Connell’s point of view halfway through the book. Connell recently lost his job and can’t afford to pay for rent in Dublin for the summer anymore, so he intends to ask Marianne if he can move in her apartment instead.
CLOSE READING EXCERPT
I think there are many factors on why time and time again, Marianne and Connell choose not to communicate to each other openly. There’s the socio-economic class difference between them, and their tendency to overthink and overanalyze things.
I. CLASS
First, let’s talk about class.
“Apartment,” “money,” “floors,” “laundry,” “things,” “dinner,” “theatre tickets.” These words pertaining to money and material goods emphasize what Marianne has and what Connell doesn’t. Rooney uses repetition and mentions “money” four times in three consecutive sentences, which highlights how much Connell actually thinks and worries about money. This is in stark contrast to Marianne who would “instantly, permanently, forget about” all things that have to do with spending money. The class difference between them here is very clear.
What’s also clear is Connell’s insecurity that arises from being working-class in a place full of upper-class people. He doesn’t fit in nor is he thriving socially at Trinity College Dublin because of its elitism, while Marianne does because she’s upper-class as well.
In contrast, in their hometown of Carricklea, a place that isn’t necessarily posh, it was Connell who fit in while it was Marianne who was the social outcast.
Rooney is a well-known Marxist, which definitely informs her writing. She said in an interview,
It’s clear in Normal People how class affects the characters’ social lives. Connell doesn’t fit in with people from the upper-class while Marianne does. And not fitting in fed into Connell’s insecurity. When Lorraine later asks Connell why he thinks Marianne wouldn’t ever date someone like him, he says, “I think her new boyfriend is a bit more in line with her social class” (p. 131). And it’s worth noting that Marianne’s “new boyfriend” at the time is Jaime, whose father was one of the people responsible for the financial crisis in 2008. In other words, someone very rich.
Later on, Connell wins a full scholarship and so many opportunities seem now available to him because of this “gigantic material fact” (p. 165). In contrast, Marianne just wanted to win the scholarship for a “self-esteem boost” (p. 165). When he later joins the scholarship dinner, Connell feels unnerved being served by students who were working themselves through college, because he could easily imagine himself to be one of them, while Marianne is relatively unbothered by the fact (p. 180).
Normal People is attentive to how class shapes a person’s social life. Through the dynamic between Marianne and Connell, Normal People explores how class—a broad social structure—affects people on a personal level.
In Marianne and Connell’s case, class disrupts their communication and therefore their relationship. And this is such a fresh take on the “lovers from different classes” trope, where the difference in class isn’t a physical reality that keeps two lovers apart, but a mental barrier. Their difference in money never becomes a point of contention because they navigate through the same spaces. But the class difference does result in Connell’s insecurity and overthinking tendencies. In Normal People, it’s the mental barriers, or the class-consciousness, that drive them apart.
Going back to the excerpt, Connell never even asked Marianne in the end if he could move in her apartment, even though he really needed to, because it felt too much like asking for money. And that dissolved their relationship at that point in time.
II. OVER-ANALYZING
Marianne and Connell try so hard to analyze both their own emotions and the other person’s emotions. To me, they do this in order to make sense of all the often-confusing things they feel. And it’s good that they’re really trying to understand each other. But it’s also bad because thinking is not the same as communicating. What often happens is that Connell and Marianne think and think, but don’t express their thoughts because they think they have the other person’s thoughts already figured out.
Let’s go back to the excerpt where Connell thinks, “He knew she would say yes. He thought she would say yes, it was hard to imagine her not saying yes… He knew Marianne never thought that way.”
Again, we see Rooney using repetition, and this repetition of Marianne saying yes almost sounds like Connell’s convincing himself that Marianne would agree to let him move in. He also uses the word “knew” twice, evoking a tone of certainty. But obviously, he’ll never actually know until he asks her. And in the end, he never goes ahead and asks her.
This happens time and time again. Although Marianne and Connell usually have spot-on analyses of each other, they don’t communicate these. To get a good picture of their communication pattern, it helps to ask ourselves what is being said, not being said, understood, and misunderstood in this paragraph.
Frankly speaking, nothing is being said here because all these thoughts are just happening in Connell’s mind. Crucial information that’s not being said is that Connell needs to stay at Marianne’s apartment due to financial constraints.
And then to see what’s being understood and misunderstood, let’s look at page 129, after Connell chooses to just tell Marianne he’s going away for the summer.
What’s being understood here is that Connell is going away for the summer. What’s being misunderstood, however, is that because Connell will be away from Marianne, he concludes that she will want to see other people. Marianne, on the other hand, concludes that Connell’s the one who wants to see other people because he was the one who brought the notion up.
They misunderstood each other; they thought the other person wanted to date other people when in fact, none of them wanted to in the first place.
In the passage from page 129, only assumptions and misunderstandings are unfolding because they’re not communicating openly. Connell’s “will you?” is actually a leading question, a question that’s designed to prompt Marianne to only confirm his assumption. Perhaps Connell only poses his question like that because he’s insecure or embarrassed. But still, it gets in the way of their being able to communicate properly.
Meanwhile, Marianne’s reply suggests that she’s repressing her true thoughts because she only gives a one-word answer to such a loaded question. She doesn’t allow herself to get a say on a decision that affects them both. There’s a breakdown of communication here because they thought they knew what the other person wanted.
I think this obsession with analyzing emotions is reflected in Rooney’s writing style. There’s this writing proverb to “show not tell.” But Normal People frequently tells; it really spells everything out for you. Celeste Ng also does this in Little Fires Everywhere, which I didn’t really like. But it works in Normal People.
Ng’s constant telling came off like wanting to make it clear to the readers what she’s communicating. But in Normal People, telling functions a way to show readers how fervently Marianne and Connell analyze themselves and each other. It’s like we get front-row seats to the raw process of how they think of themselves and others.
Connell’s analysis on Marianne’s “classic me” remark on page 82, I think, perfectly shows us how Normal People’s “tell, don’t show” approach illustrates how Connell always tries to analyze her and himself.
Remember, this isn’t necessarily Rooney characterizing Marianne, but Connell’s perception of Marianne. But again, thinking is not the same as communicating. We can get so caught up in our assumptions and thoughts that we sometimes forget to do the simplest thing, which is to ask.
CONCLUSION: LIFE TIPS FROM NORMAL PEOPLE
Indeed, how can people be together? Certainly, proper communication is a cornerstone to this, which is why Normal People explores miscommunication so much. And Normal People seems to say that there are societal and personal reasons why people misunderstand and fail to communicate with each other.
Maybe miscommunication is an even bigger problem among younger people, like Connell and Marianne, when they feel desire and a strong pull towards someone for the first time. Suddenly, we don’t know what to do and we don’t know what’s normal to do under these very intimate circumstances.
Normal People shows us that even in the most private crevices of society, away from the prying eyes of others, societal expectations and insecurities can still come to affect our most intimate relationships.
What are your thoughts on Normal People? Let me know in the comments! I also wrote a book review for this title in my April reading wrap-up.
If you like this kind of article, my most recent book analysis is on Umberto Eco’s The Name of the Rose. If you’re interested in the topic of interpersonal relationships, then you should also check out Jane Austen novels! I did an article discussing what each Jane Austen novel does best to hopefully guide you in your reading.
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Thanks so much for reading!
— Alyanna
SOURCES & FURTHER READING
Sally Rooney Interview: Writing with Marxism (Louisiana Channel)
Sally Rooney talks to Kishani Widyaratna about “Normal People” (London Review Bookshop)
The Cult of Sally Rooney (Vox)
Hi Alyanna
Enjoyed your analysis of NP!
Like you I found myself wondering why I found the book and dramatisation so compelling and have spent the last couple of years trying to work out what exactly was going on with Marianne and Connell. I’m grateful to you and others who appear to have “cracked the code”
What do I think about Normal People you ask.
The first thing for me is the writing. I consumed the book in a day, very unlike me. The second is how real these characters are, its as if you feel you could look them up and have a damn good go at talking some sense into them!
Their story really resonated with some of the idiotic things I did many years ago and helped reconcile certain issues in my mind. Its quite a book that can have that effect. In fact I’ve never known anything quite like it.
I’ve read many takes on the book but one thing that never appears to be addressed is why Connell is so dusconnected from his feelings and emotions ar the outset. Marianne is easier to wotk out given the blatent bullying she suffers at home and school.
With Connell I get why he screws up and how he changes over time but don’t really understand why he’s like that in the first instance?
Is it the lack of a father figure? How would the psychologists explain it I wonder?
Response to Phil’s post:
The depth of description about mental health issues has me wondering what experience the author might have in that area.
I cannot imagine a family so incredibly dysfunctional as Marianne’s. I would not call what Alan, her brother did bullying, but criminal domestic violence. I see that domestic violence in Ireland is reported to have increased by 16%, hitting a 50-year high.
Regarding Connell’s behaviour, and his fears, at one point, of perhaps being violent toward Marianne: I suppose the author is leaving open the possibility that his father was an abusive person. And Marianne seems to have learned that the way to survive is to be submissive and expect violence. Yikes.
I love everything you wrote! It makes me understand the book/show so much better. I also struggle with communicating. I can relate very well to Connell. I was popular at my high school and once I left I wasn’t anymore. It was really saddening to go from being the top to completely not in college. I’ve also struggled with relationships and not being direct by my own insecurities and assumptions. I also felt disconnected with friends/ my new relationship. My last relationship I found myself getting quiet and not being able to open up and feel at peace 100%. I guess because I wasn’t sharing how I felt or what I didn’t feel. I’m
Obsessed with Connell and Marianne. They just get each other but don’t because of their assumptions and misunderstandings. I also think society norms play a role in relationships. I was brought up with two parents happily married and my ex only had his mom and siblings and had to grow up fast. I on the other hand never suffered or had to struggle. I’m a people pleaser and like Marianne she would constantly say to Connell I’ll do whatever you’d want me to, I’m not sure if that’s the same but I can myself doing the same thing for someone
I really love.